1. People who can never remember when your birthday is.
If someone you regularly hang out with can’t be bothered to remember your birthday, or what it is you do at work these days, or what the name of your coffee shop crush is, or how much money s/he owes you, consider that this person might not be so much your friend as s/he is a mere body to which you are sometimes adjacent. Friends (at least sometimes!) do things for you that inconvenience them. Friends take up valuable memory hard drive space for you. Of COURSE levels vary, and we won’t have the same expectations of the high school friends we see twice annually, but if you’re hanging out with someone regularly and they don’t seem to know ANYthing that’s going on with you, why?
2. People who can’t stop correcting you.
You know when someone’s like, “ACTUALLY, it’s pronounced hoo-moose, not hum-us”? First of all, nobody normal says it like that, so shut up. Second of all, what we mean here is that it’s exhausting (and dispiriting!) to be friends with someone who consistently makes you feel stupid. These are the know-it-alls, and the people who make you feel like you should be ashamed for not having read whatever book or seen whatever documentary. These are the people who REFUSE to acknowledge that you’re capable of understanding whatever it is they’re trying to say. Conversations with these people are heavy on interruption and the dismissive “wellllllll” and light on anything enjoyable.
3. People who wait for YOU to make plans (and then almost always cancel).
Check out your text history. Is it noticeably one-sided? Filled with various iterations of the “I’m so sorry, I’m the WORST, but I actually need to bail tonight” message? The thing is, habitually blowing someone off IS the worst, and acknowledging it isn’t enough to fix it. Everyone in the whole world is busy, which is why we carve out time specifically for the people we love. It’s important, and it’s necessary. Prioritize the people who prioritize you.